| You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life... |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| The end |
[04 Apr 2007|07:45pm] |
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hum of the refrigerator |
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This is my final post here.
For those of you who read this and wish to speak with me about a possible new journal, let me know.
The time for this site has come and gone. Time to move on to bigger and better things.
Take care guys.
Be seeing you.
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| Wenn Ich Tanzen Will |
[08 Mar 2007|09:18pm] |
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Die Schatten werden länger - Elisabeth |
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Tod:
Zeit, dass wir uns endlich sprechen
Zeit, das Schweigen zu durchbrechen
du kennst mich, ja du kennst mich!
Weisst du noch du warst ein Knabe,
als ich dir versprochen habe,
dass ich dir...immer nah bleib!
Rudolph:
Oh, ich hab dich nie vergessen,
meinen Freund, nach dem ich rufe,
wenn mich meine Ängste fressen
Tod:
Ich kam, weil du mich brauchst!
Beide:
Die Schatten werden länger
und doch bleiben alle blind und stumm
tanzt man wild ums goldene Kalb herum!
Die Schatten werden länger
es ist fünf vor zwölf,
die Zeit ist beinahe um!
Tod:
Zeit den Riss der Welt zu sehen,
könnt ich nun das Steuer drehen,
doch ich muss daneben stehen,
man bindet mir die Hände!
Rudolph:
Nichts ist schlimmer als zu wissen
wie das Unheil sich entwickelt,
und in Ohnmacht zusehen müssen
Tod:
es macht mich völlig krank
Beide:
Die Schatten werden länger
und die Lieder werden kalt und schrill!
Der Teufelskreis wird enger,
doch man glaubt nur was man glauben will
die Schatten werden länger
es ist fünf vor zwölf,
warum
Tod:
Was hält dich zurück
Dies ist der Augenblick
greif nach der Macht
tu es aus Notwehr
Rudolph:
aus Notwehr
Beide:
Die Schatten werden länger,
was geschehn muss das muss jetzt geschehen!
Der Teufelskreis wird enger
und man muss dem Unheil wiederstehen!
Die Schatten werden länger
Kaiser (langsam)
Rudolph wird der Zeit entgegen gehn!!!
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[25 Dec 2006|04:51pm] |
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Asylum-Scream Silence |
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1. So, what did you do all day?:
Slept, chores.
2. What is the most expensive thing you've bought recently?
External hard drive.
3. Last concert (or show) you attended:
Hmm. Zumanity, I think.
4. Coolest thing you've gotten in the mail lately:
Packages of presentses!
5. Discribe your favorite artical of clothing:
It is a black shirt which has a pink Cheshire Cat on it and bears the message "we're all mad here."
6. Last video game played:
Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin.
7. How many CDs do you have by any ONE artist or group?:
All of Trans-Siberian Orchestra's CDs.
8. What's for dinner?:
No idea.
9. Do you have any collections?:
Books, music, videos, and apparently I'm collecting Nintendo DS games.
10. What was the last board game you played?:
Probably Balderdash.
11. Who won?:
Don't remember.
12. Do you subscribe to any magazines?
No.
13. Last movie you saw at a theater:
Eragon.
14. Last movie you watched at home:
Aladdin.
15. Do you have any special traditions only you or your family do:
Not that special.
16. What was the last thing you created:
New character named Silver Dollar.
17. Are you reading any books right now?:
Labyrinth by Kate Mosse and L'Alchimiste by Paulo Coelho.
18. Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?:
Had too many.
19. What do you do when you can't fall asleep?:
Play video games or screw around on the computer.
20. Have you ever randomly bumped into a actor/actress/or other generally famous person on the street?:
Carrot Top came into the store once. He's freaky lookin.
21. Are you more likely to read a book you've never read before if it's been made into a movie?:
No.
22. Have you discovered what podcasts are yet? Do you have a favorite?:
Yeah. Favorite is Ask A Ninja.
23.What is your favorite kind of food that you only get to have once a year:
Don't have one.
24. What's that noise?:
My washing machine.
25. Last dvd box set you bought?:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 6.
26. Are there any musical artists that you used to like but don't anymore because their style of music changed too much?:
HIM's last CD wasn't my favorite, to be sure.
27. Are there any covers you think are better than the original?
Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson.
28. What food(s) do you go to the store for ASAP when you run out?:
I'll starve. I'm generally too lazy to go get food, unless I'm already out.
29. Isn't there another appropriate response for "I love you" besides "I love you, too."?:
"I know you do". Use: when a coworker is saying "I love you" to get you to do something you know you don't want to do.
30. Last new artist that you listened to and really liked:
Sleepthief.
31. Last new one you hated:
Dunno.
32. In which country do you wish you'd been born?
England, Ireland or Switzerland.
33. When was the last time you were scared shitless?:
When my mom was in the hospital.
34. Do you like it when old ladies refer to you as "Dear", or "Hon", or "Sugar"?:
Don't really care.
35. What do you like about yourself?
Not much heh.
36. Share a random fact about yourself:
I want a hypoallergenic cat.
37. What's the best field trip you ever went to?:
Knottsberry Farm.
38. Have you ever dressed up for Halloween at work?:
Nope. They wouldn't let us.
39. Do you have any clothes that you pilfered or inherited from your parents?:
I have a baby dress my mom had and then I had as a baby.
40. How old is "old" to you?:
Depends on the object.
41. What was the last free thing you've gotten?:
Money.
42. What's your favorite black and white movie?:
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.
43. What color would you like to bleed?:
Red, thanks.
44. Do you know any Furries?:
Yeah.
45. If you have a wall calender, what kind is it?:
It's from last year, and it's pictures of Spike from Buffy.
46. Have you ever been to a convention?:
No.
47. If you were to dress up as a musician, which one would you be?:
The lead singer of Within Temptation.
48. Do you have a thing about ruining new stuff by personalizing?:
I tend to not bother.
49. Ever have those moments when you realize that you somehow just cheated death?:
A few. Most recent was when I spun out on the freeway on the way home one night going 75 and somehow managed to not hit anything.
50. Does it boggle your mind?:
Sometimes I wonder.
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| In Memory |
[16 Dec 2006|10:36pm] |
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Listen To The Rain - Evanescence |
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Today at work, I received news that a coworker and good friend of mine passed away unexpectedly this morning.
He leaves behind his son, daughter, family and friends.
Of all the thoughts I have had throughout the day, I wish I had gotten a chance to see him one last time.
We will all miss you, Scott. It will be painful to think of you being gone, but I will do my best to remember the good things. I'll especially think of you whenever I see someone with the computer screen zoomed in. I still don't remember how to zoom in and out.
I wish I could have had the chance to ask you one last time.
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[14 Dec 2006|11:03pm] |
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mood |
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Gary's tape |
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[14 Dec 2006|10:34am] |
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With Or Without You - U2 |
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Classes left:
ITAL114 final in half an hour.
HON400 paper due tomorrow.
HON400 paper due tomorrow.
Yes, there are two of them.
To do list:
Breakfast
Final
Finish Vienna paper
Clean room
Take stuff to dad's - new glasses, contacts
Write NSP paper
Excerpt from Vienna paper:
Chapter Nine
“My public and I understand each other very well: they do not hear what I say and I say what they do not wish to hear.”
It is not an uncommon sentiment that people do not want to hear bad news, especially when it involves them. Kraus’ quote in this case is commenting on the fact that although people do not wish to hear his criticisms and how he thinks they are failing in their endeavors, they continued to read his newspaper behind their closed doors. It is doubtful that Kraus was responsible for any major changes in society with his paper, but he succeeded in making people aware of what he thought to be its problems. Although polite society was very much against his propositions for the most part, they still indulged in their curiousity whenever they had the opportunity. In Kraus’ time, reading Die Fackel was treated like people today treat sexual fetishes: something to be hidden from the public, entertained in private, and a secret so widely known that after a while it becomes an enthralling subject to even distant acquaintances.
Here in Las Vegas, the service industry is extremely popular and very successful, the term “service” being defined in so many different ways that some of them are illegal. Television ads at four-thirty in the morning promise beautiful women will talk to you on the phone if you text message words to certain numbers, massage parlors open twenty-four hours offer full body shampoos and escort services solicit hot asian blondes to be your companion for the night (discretion and privacy are, of course, standards that are included in your fee). Most people, especially those who fervently practice most western religions, view these places as houses of sin that they would not like to be caught in. However, as Vegas proves, it’s still a profitable enterprise. Strip clubs are still a popular destination for late-night adventures by members of both genders. After all, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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[22 Oct 2006|08:36pm] |
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L'il Red Riding Hood - Bowling for Soup |
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Life is....busy.
School, work. School, work. School, school, work, work.
New phone - $200.
External drive- $200.
MB - $1537.
Viterbo - $7000.
India - $6000.
Work was interesting today. Met a couple of neat customers; pondered investing in a MacBook and trying to keep my PowerMac, not that I could sell it for anything anyway. At this rate, should be about two months before I get my computer, so I have time to decide which I'd like.....white MB 2.0/2x1GB RAM/120 GB HD or MBPro 2.0/1GB RAM/120 GB HD/128 VIDRAM.
What a big heart I have
The better to love you with
Little Red Riding Hood
Even bad wolves can be good
I'll try to be satisfied just to walk close by your side
Maybe you'll see things my way before we get to grandma's place!
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| Shivering...but not because I'm cold. |
[01 Oct 2006|12:38am] |
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blank |
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Just Say It - Sleepthief |
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I'm going to take a walk, probably for a few hours.
Wear a cute skirt, warm jacket, bring my iPod and walk toward the strip. I just need to get out of this sudden hell.
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| Cabbies and Rob Zombie |
[28 Sep 2006|11:48pm] |
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Out Of The Silent Planet - Iron Maiden |
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So I was driving home tonight from the mall and I was stopped at a light on Industrial, windows open, Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl" blaring out of my iPod and speakers. This cabbie pulls up to me, yells out the window, "You are so beautiful!" and drives off when his turn light turns green.
It's different to hear something like that from a total stranger, versus someone you know and someone who's biased.
Kind of a boost for the ego.
( Out of the silent planet, out of the silent planet we are... )
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| Errol. Yum. |
[13 Sep 2006|04:13am] |
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Davy Jones - Pirates of the Caribbean 2 |
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That scent will always remind me of him. That light tang of musk and the dark, sugary scent women associate with men.
His voice was rich and full, powerful and confident. His words were sweet nothings that dripped like rubies from a wealthy woman's fingers. Skin like milky silk was etched and marred with scars, but they only added to his charm and appeal.
Big blue eyes were set into a handsome face, girlishly long eyelashes making his appearance younger and lending an innocence to his playful looks. Long, wavy locks of spun gold hung in his eyes, the neatly trimmed goatee and mustache matching his thick ponytail. With a smile that lights up a room and a charm most find utterly irresistable, he is one of the most enchanting people I have ever met.
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[11 Sep 2006|04:22pm] |
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Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5 |
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Mutter in darkness those words you haven't heard since the beginning of time and space.
Let the freedom of nothingness remind you of everything you had and of everything you had not.
Don't forget that that golden apple you wear isn't for decoration, but to remind you of everything you aspire to be, Kalisti.
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| Sometimes I want to sleep through tomorrow... |
[21 Aug 2006|03:36am] |
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Hevioso - The 69 Eyes |
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I'll be waiting for you baby. I'll be waiting for you baby.....I'll be waiting for the new dawn begun....I'll be waiting for the new world to come.
All you innocent people
Don't care about me
All you innocent people
I hear the angels calling
And the rain starts falling
Thunder and storming
Hevioso
Brings justice by the morning
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be waiting for you now baby
I'll be waiting for the new moon begun
I'll be waiting for the new blood to run
All you innocent people
Don't care about me
All you innocent people
I hear the angels calling
And the rain starts falling
Thunder and storming
Hevioso
Brings justice by the morning
Angels calling
The rain starts falling
Thunder and storming
Hevioso
Brings justice by the morning
I hear the angels calling on me
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| Sometimes I hate my life. |
[10 Aug 2006|11:46pm] |
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blah |
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music |
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Dominion (Mother Russia) - Sisters of Mercy |
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Princess Alix of Hesse and by Rhine (German: Alix Victoria Helena Luise Beatrice Prinzessin von Hessen und bei Rhein) or Saint Alexandra, 6 June 1872 – 17 July 1918, under the title Empress Alexandra Fyodorovna (Russian: Императрица Александра Фёдоровна), was Empress consort of Russia. She was the wife of Nicholas II of Russia, the last Tsar. She was a granddaughter of Queen Victoria. Although born Alix – a German version of her mother's name, Alice – she assumed the name Alexandra Fyodorovna upon blessing into the Russian Orthodox Church.
Alexandra is remembered as the last Tsaritsa of Russia, as one of the most famous genetic carriers of hemophilia, as well as for her support of authoritarian control over the country. Her relationship with the Russian mystic Grigori Rasputin was also an important factor in her life.
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| I will forgive the silence, but do you hear me cry? |
[09 Aug 2006|01:41am] |
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Desire of Ages (F. Harland) - Sleepthief |
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- Alice
- Triptika
- Darkbreeze
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- the guardian.
- my voice.
- my magic.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- occasional need to fly off the handle at someone to realign myself.
- obsessive, about some things.
- vindictive.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- English
- Irish
- Russian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- clowns.
- syringes.
- being useless.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- the nighttime.
- the internet.
-
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- pants.
- bra.
- glasses, oddly.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
- Marilyn Manson.
- The 69 Eyes.
- Nightwish.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE ALBUMS:
- Golden Age of Groteque - Marilyn Manson
- Ten Thousand Fists - Disturbed
- The Dawnseeker - Sleepthief
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
- I am learning quickly that of which I must be reminded.
- I am still in love with the Phantom of the Opera.
- Magic is not real.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
- Meeting Xadzia and/or Mishap.
- throwing myself to the sky and learning to fly.
- visiting Gary again.
THREE THINGS YOU NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Passion
- Loyalty
- Love
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
- stand being entirely alone for too long.
- live without the internet.
- deny my truth.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- Singing.
- Writing.
- Playing!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- go for a walk.
- see The Illusionist.
- go back in time and meet Alix and Rasputin and have a nice, long chat.
THREE JOBS YOU'D CONSIDER DOING OTHER THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE:
- singer, of course.
- author, of course.
- stage performer.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- St. Petersburg
- Romania
- Italy
THREE KID'S NAMES:
- Alice
- McKellahn
- Mercedes, nickname Mercy.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- learn Italian, Romanian, Russian, German, romany, Arabic and Mayan.
- travel the planet.
- become a professional singer.
I will forgive the silence, but do you hear me cry? Destiny rumbles the fortress and love conquers everything...
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| Recent developments |
[06 Jul 2006|07:24am] |
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blah |
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music |
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Wandering Child / Bravo Monsieur - Phantom of the Opera |
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Recently.....recently.....what's happened?
More shit than I care to recount.
My dad goes to Phoenix again on Friday.....
I want to dress up in my black tank top, corset, short skirt, fishnets, boots, coat, makeup, bracers and hat.....I want to walk the strip and dance and twirl and walk on Bobo's arm while he holds Brandon's and we fawn over him like he's a woman.
I want to throw ice onto Maryland Parkway.
I want to be special, I want to be beautiful. I want to not have to think about everything in my life that I want to change, for one night.
One of my coworker's father-in-law is an older, retired gentleman......and reiki master. With any luck, I'll get to speak with him.....or perhaps even find the mentor I've been searching for.
Some shoutouts.....
Sissy - hope camp's going well. Miss you.
Chaffeur - I'm trying to get back to Phoenix to visit you. Make sure yer parents are gone so Sissy and I can crash at your place :P.
Mishap - TCMN approaches. After Johnny, of course.
Remedy - your temporary name, for a lack of a true assignment. Lookin forward to seein ya tonight. And yes...I will be dressing up. Brett should too.
Xadzia - for Father's sake, wumman, we need to finish those damned lists......you know what I mean....
D'Artagnan - miss you. Talk to you in a few hours, I imagine.
Angel of music, I denied you, turning from true beauty. Angel of music, my protector....come to me, strange angel!
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[18 Jun 2006|09:55pm] |
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 sleepy |
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Original Sin - Dance of the Vampires |
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1. My crush is...
Isn't there a soda called Crush or am I delusional?
2. I am listening to...
A playlist I put together entitled "A Passionate Affair".
3. Maybe I should...
Sleep. Eventually.
4. I love...
Everyone.
5. My best friend...
Lives in Phoenix.
6. I don't understand...
Why I can mysteriously speak Portuguese.
7. I lose...
Too much. Bah.
8. People say...
I'm weird. They're right.
9. The meaning of my screen name is...
My nickname and alter ego with an allusion to the Phantom of the Opera.
10. Love is...
Sucky when you're polyamorous.
11. Somewhere, someone is...
Watching a Johnny Depp movie. Ahhh envy.
12. I will always...
Have several songs stuck in my head.
13. Forever seems...
*sings* Not long at all.
14. I never want to...
Hurt someone I love.
15. My mobile phone is...
Abused. Unfortunately, it is also still functioning.
16. When I wake up in the morning...
I wish I was still asleep.
17. I get annoyed when...
Stupid people do stupid things.
18. Parties are...
Few and far between for me.
19. My dog is...
Non-existent?
20. Kisses are the worst when...
They're goooooooood.
21. Today I...
TALKED TO MY PARENTS WHILE THEY BOUGHT ME A CAR. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!
22. Tonight I will...
Sleep! After dawn.
23. Tomorrow I will...
SLEEP!!!
24. I really want....
To move to a Caribbean Island and live in a villa with everyone close to me.
25. Being a virgin is...
Safer healthwise....Inevitably.
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| My life.... |
[18 Jun 2006|02:05am] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Your Eyes - Rent |
] |
A lot's been happening lately. I don't really know what to say about everything; my mind's spinning and I'm out of control. I feel so lost....I miss some aspects of my life so badly that it brings me to tears.
I love so many in my life......some of them won't know it.....some won't believe it.
I love the person who comes in and smiles at me.....and I love the girl who is my best friend who won't speak to me. I love all my coworkers, I love all my Achaean friends. There are some who are closer than others.....I know you don't need to be told I love you.
I love life, with all its ups and downs...the drama I attract like a freakin magnet. I love the movie Rent....I love the tears I cry when I think about how close I could have come to losing everything so many times.
I love everyone, everything so much.
I know that I will forever cherish the memories you all have gifted me, the lessons I have learned, the advice you gave.
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| Prose poem.... |
[13 Jun 2006|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins |
] |
Working title:
"Phoenix Revolution"
Victory reclined beside his brother Strength as Defeat fed him fat, purple grapes. Beauty and Splendour cowed in the corner from fat Spoils and Destruction. Death chatted lightly with Vicory and Sacrifice while Strength gazed enviously at Beauty and Splendour. Happiness and Peace were caged in the corner as far away as possible while Suffering and Despair bit at their heels. Understanding and Pity were banished long ago. Opportunity and Chaos laid in wait in the shadows, red eyes glittering. Content was chained to the ceiling, every day more a threat to her existence. Knowledge decayed as Splendour faded and Destruction grew stronger. Self-interest shared Victory’s couch and Memory turned invisible. Empathy was locked out of the room as Neglect fanned the captives’ flames. Progress pulled Victory’s strings and Destiny watched History unfold from the neutral sidelines. Future mourned the loss of Knowledge and Memory as Past was restrained by Destruction. Present searched for Control with a blind grasp while Safety was the first to be eyed hungrily by Chaos. Saftey became Vulnerabiltiy as Beauty, Splendor and Opportunity were joined by Hope. Future bebcame Uncertainty as Life continued on. Strength left the side of Victory and brushed aside Despair from Happiness and Peace. Opportunity whispered in Strength’s ear as Destruction stepped away from Knowledge when she was joined by her sister Enlightenment. Victory fell from his couch and his standard only drew Resentment and Defeat as Memory laughed in derision. Determination pinned Victory to the ground as Defeat and Division took his place. Victory freed Splendour, Happiness, Peace, and Beauty as Prosperity encircled them all with his thickly muscled arms. Destiny became Freedom and Choice and they smiled along with Fortune at the new Future they saw.
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ladyagent_smith's journal
bouncy